Hey guys! No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, and no one knows the struggles of daily life. It can be difficult to take the time out for self-care when so many other things are at the forefront of your mind. Here is the ultimate guide on how to prioritise yourself, and how it does not need to be a difficult or expensive task. Yes to positivity affirmations and self love affirmations!
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Self Love Affirmations
See What Others See
Make a list. Turning mental thoughts into a written word can help to make everything more logical, and more honest. It sounds a cliche but look at yourself from your loved one’s perspective. What do they love about you? What are your unique quirks and skills? Are you empathetic, funny, happy and smiley, or the perfect one to have a great chat with? Acknowledge that you do have strengths that people LOVE, and take full credit.
Note Your Benefits
In a similar stream – note what you love about yourself. Loving yourself can be such a challenge even when it shouldn’t. Even if it is a matter of putting people first, that is an admirable trait that many people do not have. What are you proud of? What have you achieved? However little, however minor it may seem, self love begins with you appreciating yourself. Make note in a journal of all you have to offer and what you provide, as well as your benefits.
Where Do You Want To Be?
Formulate an idea of what do you want to achieve. Self love affirmations are all about knowing what you need, this is different for everyone. Understand that some elements will take time, and others can literally change overnight.
Distance yourself slightly from reality. What I mean with this – say you have to do something you do not want to do. You will find every excuse to not do it right? Setting expectations of yourself can be the same thing; finding reasons why you do not deserve to be in the place you want to be. If you distance yourself from this (like you are writing self love affirmations in an audit for someone else) you may be more critical, which may be exactly what you need.
Adressing Your Flaws
There are constructive ways of doing this and detrimental ways of doing this. For example, I could get bogged down by the fact that I am small (I am 5ft 4, and my Boyfriend is 6ft 2). However, there is nothing I can do about it (apart from high shoes), so it is a factor that I should not worry about trying to fix. Break down what factors you do not like about yourself, and whether they are factors that can change. Address everything within the realm of possibility, and I am sure that a lot of what you want to change is possible.
Boosting Your Confidence
This is not an overnight miracle, but boosting your confidence will make you want to change. You deserve to be happy, but you have to believe in yourself to want to make these changes. It starts with being the person you want to be and pushing your limits little by little. Gradually, you will begin to love yourself as you believe in yourself more.
Go At Your Own Pace
Weeks, months or years, self love is an individual journey. Even after years, you will always be tweaking the way you are and the way you behave. The aim is to continually improve. Gradual self love is the most natural way of achieving your goals – if you wake up one morning and try to achieve 100% by dinner time then you are going way too quick. Go at a pace that suits you and is completely natural, to the point that you do not even realise that you are self-evaluating.
Start With Being True To Yourself
Have goals that you really want to achieve, don’t try to become an artificial version of yourself. Being fake happy will wear off, and the novelty and fallacy of it can be hard to bounce back from. Do not try and create a you that 1. you cannot keep up with and 2. does not put self love at the forefront. Do not lose weight because “all of your friends are thin”, do it because you WANT TO, and if you don’t, THAT’S FINE. We teach kids not to give in to peer pressure, yet adults are so much worse at it. If you are happy with certain aspects of yourself, do not change it!
We live in the age of social media, and it is more of a curse than a blessing. Yes, there is a growing rise of positivity and acceptance, but trolling and negativity will always be there. The best self love affirmations begin with loving others as much as yourself. An influencer showing all of their belly rolls on Instagram? Embrace it! Someone else filling every part of their face with collagen? Give them a compliment! Appreciate the choices others make, and how they perceive self love, just like you would want others to do you to. Make the most of mass media to appreciate different walks of life and how everyone doesn’t think the same way. The differences between us are a good thing!
Don’t be Too Harsh On Yourself
It can be so easy to set a list of requirements of the person you want to be, with all of your flaws attached. History and life experience can tell you, however, that this is simply not healthy. Any form of putting yourself down on a regular basis about minor and major items can be so damaging to your mental health. Start to focus on what you want to achieve, bit by bit, and begin to formulate a better you. Maybe you don’t even need to change – self love can be all about bringing out the good in you, and fully acknowledging it.
Find Others Similar To You
We all have met people that don’t help towards our self love journey right? Aren’t they a pain? Self-love should involve you prioritising what is important, and this could involve trying to get remove negativity from your life. You shouldn’t have to be delaying any forms of self-love by others that will not let you enjoy the process. Find like-minded individuals that will lift you up and appreciate the fact that you are trying to better yourself, rather than bringing you down. It will make everything so much easier!
Do More of What Makes You Happy
Make sure there is enough time for you to do what you want. Love yourself by spending your time the way you want! Time can be difficult to find, but rework your plans to insert some 1-1 time with yourself, it is great for increasing happiness levels!
Physically Look After Yourself
After lockdown, it can be difficult to maintain your appearance. However, things as simple as showering more often, brushing your hair, getting outside clothes on can make it so much easier to feel better about yourself. When we are down, the little things become such a challenge. One of the most important self love affirmations is to truly look after yourself, and give yourself the self-care you need.
Get Yourself Out There
Pushing your limits is a natural part of being the person you want to be. Do not be put off by things you find too daunting or uncomfortable, because some innate part of you may love it. Physical and mental handicaps should never stop you from embracing your true self and getting out there, so embrace it as a part of you and gets on with it! A gentle nudge may be all you need. Just check out single disabled, it is clear proof that your health should NEVER impact your chances to find love, and how dating is inclusive to all!
Different is Good
Do not listen to anyone that states otherwise. We live in a democracy where we have free will and freedom of speech, as well as self-expression – make the most of it! Self love will only go so far if there are parts you want to hide to come across as more “normal”. Normal is relative and differs from person to person, so chances are, there are others thinking exactly the same as you. Wear bright colours, style your hair differently, listen to abstract music – be true to yourself. Start loving yourself. Be beautiful inside and out! And if someone does not like it, but it is a part of you, then they need a chatting to. Be proud of what makes you YOU, and don’t stop when opposition arises. Be comfortable in defending your thoughts and being proud of who you are!